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- Thread starter MindzEye
- Start date
Looks around 35...
WellPlayed
Well-known member
UK Pub Food...the anti fountain of youth.
mbow30
Spudmeister Supreme
+first dart at age 7
axlsalinger
Well-known member
Slinger 48
Well-known member
A guy goes to Las Vegas to gamble and loses all his money. He doesn't even have enough for a cab but flagged one anyway.He explained what happened to the driver and said all he had was an airline ticket home and he'd pay him when he came back next time and gave the cabbie his phone number.
The driver told him to get the fuck outta his cab. He walked all the way to the airport and got home.
Some time rolls by and he goes back to Vegas again and this time he wins BIG.
He gets his bags and is ready for the airport with all his winnings.
There are a line of cabs and at the very end he sees the driver from last time that kicked him out.
So, he gets in the first cab.
"How much is it to the airport?" he asks.
The driver says, "$15."
"Great, how much for a blowjob on the way there?"
The cab driver says, "Get the fuck out of my cab."
So he goes to the next one and asks the same thing.
"How much to airport?"
"$15."
"Great, how much for a blowjob on the way there?"
And that cab driver also tells him to get the fuck out of his cab.
He does this all the way down the line of drivers, each one kicking him out.
He finally gets to the last driver, the one from his last trip.
He asks, "Hey how much to the airport?"
Driver responds, "$15."
The guy hands him $15 and says, "Great let's go!"
And so the driver leaves, slowly passing all the other drivers who are staring out their window while the guy in the back smiles back with a thumbs up.
Slinger 48
Well-known member
I laughed way to hard at this.
I wonder how much money Carrot Top made for that ad?
axlsalinger
Well-known member
Slinger 48
Well-known member
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Enzo, has cheated him out of 10 million bucks.
His bookkeeper is deaf, that was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Enzo would hear nothing that he might have to testify about in court.
When the Godfather goes to confront Enzo about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.
The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the 10 million bucks is that he embezzled from me." The lawyer, using sign language, asks Enzo where the money is. Enzo signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."
The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you are talking about."
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Enzo's temple and says, "Ask him again!" The lawyer signs to Enzo, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."
Enzo signs back, "OK. You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Bruno's backyard in Woodbridge !"
The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"
The lawyer replies, " He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."
His bookkeeper is deaf, that was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Enzo would hear nothing that he might have to testify about in court.
When the Godfather goes to confront Enzo about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.
The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the 10 million bucks is that he embezzled from me." The lawyer, using sign language, asks Enzo where the money is. Enzo signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."
The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you are talking about."
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Enzo's temple and says, "Ask him again!" The lawyer signs to Enzo, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."
Enzo signs back, "OK. You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Bruno's backyard in Woodbridge !"
The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"
The lawyer replies, " He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."