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OT: SQUIRRELS ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS

angelfish

angelfish

Well-known member
So I'm riding my etrike peacefully (minding my own business) as I usually do. I'm riding down a paved bike path. All of a sudden a fricken furry demon (squirrel) decided it was important to immediately be on the other side of the path. He jumped out of the brush and darted a few feet in front of me. My immediate thought was that I was going to hit him. I quickly turned my handlebars to the right to avoid him. The forest on the side tried to reclaim me and I went full speed down an embakment. I was holding on squeezing the brakes for dear life, but they were inofective. I came to a stop by hitting a tree stump (or little person I'm not exactly sure). I was knocked out. When I came too I swear I saw a squirrel a few feet from me just laughing. I picked up a branch to throw it at him, I then realized I was in a great deal of pain. I dislocated my left collar bone. I yelled for help and eventually a passerby called 911. P.S. NO SQUIRRELS WERE HARMED DURING THIS INCODENT. I'm now at home recovering.
 
I had a pack when I was younger that I travelled the world with. It survived many continents and tens of countries unscathed. It did not survive the angry squirrel who wanted the cheesy bacon buns in the pack while I was on belay and unable to do anything to defend it.

bushy-tailed rats are little fuckers.
 
Sounds like the tree stump and or little person is just as much to blame here.

I once worked with this obnoxious woman who couldn't stand that a Goose kinda lived around our office.

The goose to be clear did nothing than honked and be there. It in no way threatened anyone or had a gun.

This woman would yell at the goose ( accomplishing, shrug?) and called animal control to when being told a goose was on the premesis said, Who cares, its a goose, let it do goose things.

The woman upon exiting the building that day, again started yelling at the goose and slipped on the top step going down to the second floor and rolled down some steps.

The goose honked
 
angelfish said:
So I'm riding my etrike peacefully (minding my own business) as I usually do. I'm riding down a paved bike path. All of a sudden a fricken furry demon (squirrel) decided it was important to immediately be on the other side of the path. He jumped out of the brush and darted a few feet in front of me. My immediate thought was that I was going to hit him. I quickly turned my handlebars to the right to avoid him. The forest on the side tried to reclaim me and I went full speed down an embakment. I was holding on squeezing the brakes for dear life, but they were inofective. I came to a stop by hitting a tree stump (or little person I'm not exactly sure). I was knocked out. When I came too I swear I saw a squirrel a few feet from me just laughing. I picked up a branch to throw it at him, I then realized I was in a great deal of pain. I dislocated my left collar bone. I yelled for help and eventually a passerby called 911. P.S. NO SQUIRRELS WERE HARMED DURING THIS INCODENT. I'm now at home recovering.
Click to expand...
Hows recovery coming!
 
There's a reason condors eat well where I come from. The road's their dining table, and they're really good at getting out of the way of traffic. 😉
 
Have had pest control at the house 3 times in 6 years before we got our roof done 2 years ago.. those fuckers can get through small holes. New roof fixed whatever entry point was there (and supposedly fixed 3 times prior)

Earlier this spring I went to the shed to get the wife’s summer tires, that I had left just by the doors.. first time going into the shed since last fall. .. opened up the shed doors and bent over to grab the first tire and a fucking squirrel flew, from atop and behind, right past my head.. not 100% sure if his intentions were to land on my head and he missed or it was just an escape route.. whatever…he landed on a bunch of garden shit, made a large noise.. I stood right up and stepped back.. at the back of my shed was another fucking squirrel standing on his hind legs looking into my soul…. And another one on the ledge to my left just starring at me.. not going to lie, it freaked me out, they seemed organized. I slammed the shed door and heard at least 6 of the twats scurrying the fuck out.. went back 10 minutes later and they were gone… lots of chewed up shit tho
 
Funny anecdote. Just the day before I started adding cayenne pepper to the birdfood in the birdfeeder (as the squirrels and raccoons were eating it all). I guess word got out. 🤪
 

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