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Around the League 2019-2024 Edition

MindzEye said:
Latin chicks >
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Let me tell you something, while I definitely agree, there's something so be said of Mediterranean women too. See this is why monogamy just doesn't work. World needs to go to ethical open unions. Because some times you want Chinese and another night Italian. Feeding yourself is a required function for survival yet you don't eat the same thing every day right? I mean that's insane. Sorry but screw the idea and trappings of marriage, humans would be much happier just being honest with each other. Such a bullshit construct this matrix is, can we reboot?
 
and to be clear, I don't necessarily disagree. A lot of married people should never have gotten married.

Personal tidbit...but Ms Eye and I were living together for 6-7 years before getting married and it drove her mexican catholic family fucking nuts. They used to chirp at her all the time about her sister being married, her cousins being married etc but she was living in sin yadda yadda. I was insistent on taking my time to make sure we worked because life is a motherfucker and doesn't care about how much you love each other. You two can either navigate life together or you can't. I seriously appreciate that she found me worth all the family bullshit she put up with during that period.

Fast forward a bunch of years and we're doing better than we've been at any point in our relationship by a lot (we've always done pretty well tbh, but we do a pretty good job of communicating and growing together) and the marriages she had beat over her head as examples of what we were supposed to be are either openly miserable or divorced now...every single fucking one. The worst bit is, they were always bad relationships, but they all buckled to the family/cultural expectations. Funny how the people badgering you are never there to help you pick up the pieces when shit breaks.
 
Everybody changes in a big way from their early 20s to their early 40s. Some young marriages through luck and hard work end up each changing in the same direction together, but most end up changing in differing directions until they're just not married to the same people they used to be. It's tough.
 
MindzEye said:
and to be clear, I don't necessarily disagree. A lot of married people should never have gotten married.

Personal tidbit...but Ms Eye and I were living together for 6-7 years before getting married and it drove her mexican catholic family fucking nuts. They used to chirp at her all the time about her sister being married, her cousins being married etc but she was living in sin yadda yadda. I was insistent on taking my time to make sure we worked because life is a motherfucker and doesn't care about how much you love each other. You two can either navigate life together or you can't. I seriously appreciate that she found me worth all the family bullshit she put up with during that period.

Fast forward a bunch of years and we're doing better than we've been at any point in our relationship by a lot (we've always done pretty well tbh, but we do a pretty good job of communicating and growing together) and the marriages she had beat over her head as examples of what we were supposed to be are either openly miserable or divorced now...every single fucking one. The worst bit is, they were always bad relationships, but they all buckled to the family/cultural expectations. Funny how the people badgering you are never there to help you pick up the pieces when shit breaks.
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Classic tale.

Here's a variation.

When I was about 12, my neighbours were an Italian family with three daughters. The two eldest daughters married Italian guys. The youngest (about 19) was engaged to a Jewish fella. That drove her mom to tears - literally. She'd come over twice a week bawling her eyes out, as if her daughter's romantic choice was a death sentence.

I actually liked the guy....90% of the adults I knew at that point were Italian. I loved that this guy was different -- he was reserved instead of a loudmouth and we would talk sports for hours at a time, went to a Habs game with him, etc

Fast forward 10 years later -- those Italian/Italian marriages disintegrated in betrayal while the "ill-fated" couple thrived .

TL;DR People have really fucked up priorities about what makes relationships work.
 
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