Best of the internet
- Thread starter MindzEye
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LeafOfFaith
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axlsalinger
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axlsalinger
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Montana
Champion
LeafOfFaith
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That was pretty good.
Deckie007
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Last edited by a moderator:
LeafOfFaith
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Slinger 48
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trujaysfan
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Maybe not the "best of the internet"
But anyone using cogeco internet the 1gb unlimited package is currently offered at $70 per month... I was paying $100 and they lowered it to $68.49 for me.
Figured it could save a couple people some $$ by pointing out.
But anyone using cogeco internet the 1gb unlimited package is currently offered at $70 per month... I was paying $100 and they lowered it to $68.49 for me.
Figured it could save a couple people some $$ by pointing out.
Slinger 48
Well-known member
A busload of nuns goes over a cliff and they all die.
They all arrive at the pearly gates at the same time, and Saint Peter welcomes them, and asks them to form a line so he can ask them all a few questions before admitting them to heaven.
He asks the first nun if she has ever touched a penis. She replied "only once...with my pinky finger". "Fear not, child...just dip your finger in this basin of holy water and you shall be forgiven". She does just that and heads in.
He asks the second nun the same question. She replies "yes...once, I held one in my right hand". "Fear not sister...just wash your hand in the holy water and you shall be forgiven." She does, is cleansed, and enters heaven.
About this time there is some pushing and shoving in the line as it becomes clear one nun is trying to cut the line in front of the others.
"Sister Margaret! Calm yourself..there is no rush, you will all get in. Why the hurry?" said Saint Peter.
"All due respect Peter... if I am going to have to gargle that stuff I would like to do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it".
They all arrive at the pearly gates at the same time, and Saint Peter welcomes them, and asks them to form a line so he can ask them all a few questions before admitting them to heaven.
He asks the first nun if she has ever touched a penis. She replied "only once...with my pinky finger". "Fear not, child...just dip your finger in this basin of holy water and you shall be forgiven". She does just that and heads in.
He asks the second nun the same question. She replies "yes...once, I held one in my right hand". "Fear not sister...just wash your hand in the holy water and you shall be forgiven." She does, is cleansed, and enters heaven.
About this time there is some pushing and shoving in the line as it becomes clear one nun is trying to cut the line in front of the others.
"Sister Margaret! Calm yourself..there is no rush, you will all get in. Why the hurry?" said Saint Peter.
"All due respect Peter... if I am going to have to gargle that stuff I would like to do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it".
Slinger 48
Well-known member
Two law partners hire a new cute young secretary, and a contest arises between them as to who can bed her first, even though they're both already married. Eventually one of them
scores with her, and his partner is quite eager to hear how things went.
"So what did you think?" asks the partner.
"Ahh," replies the first lawyer, "my wife is better."
Some time goes by, and then the second lawyer goes to bed with the secretary. "So," asks the first guy, "what did you think?"
The second guy replies, "You were right."
scores with her, and his partner is quite eager to hear how things went.
"So what did you think?" asks the partner.
"Ahh," replies the first lawyer, "my wife is better."
Some time goes by, and then the second lawyer goes to bed with the secretary. "So," asks the first guy, "what did you think?"
The second guy replies, "You were right."
Slinger 48
Well-known member
One day, a blind man and his dog are walking down a street, they come to a busy intersection, and the dog, ignoring the high volume of traffic zooming by on the street, leads the blind man out into the thick of traffic. This is followed by the screech of tires and horns blaring as panicked drivers try desperately not to run the pair down.
The blind man and his dog finally reach the safety of the sidewalk on the other side of the street, and the blind man pulls a cookie out of his coat pocket, and offers it to the dog.
A passerby, having observed the near fatal incident, can't control his amazement and says to the blind man, "Why on earth are you rewarding your dog with a cookie? He nearly got you killed!"
The blind man turns partially in his direction and replies, "To find out where his head is, so I can kick his ass."
The blind man and his dog finally reach the safety of the sidewalk on the other side of the street, and the blind man pulls a cookie out of his coat pocket, and offers it to the dog.
A passerby, having observed the near fatal incident, can't control his amazement and says to the blind man, "Why on earth are you rewarding your dog with a cookie? He nearly got you killed!"
The blind man turns partially in his direction and replies, "To find out where his head is, so I can kick his ass."
Slinger 48
Well-known member
A general store owner hires a young female clerk who likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties. One day a young man enters the store, glances at the clerk and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing the length of her skirt [or general lack thereof] and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brilliant idea.
"I'd like some raisin bread please", the man says politely. The female clerk nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, which is located on the very top shelf. The young man standing almost directly beneath her is provided with an excellent view, just as he surmised he would be.
Once she descends the ladder he muses that he really should get two loaves as he's having company for dinner. As the clerk retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices whats going on. Thinking quickly, he requests his own loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view. With each trip up the ladder the young lady seems to catch the eye of another male customer. Pretty soon each male patron is asking for raisin bread, just to see the clerk climb up and down.
After many trips she's tired, irritated and thinking that she is really going to have to try this bread for herself!
Finally, once again atop the ladder, she stops and fumes, glaring at the men standing below. She notices an elderly man standing amongst the crowd staring up at her. Thinking to save herself a trip, she yells at the elderly man, "Is yours raisin too?"
"No," croaks the old man "... But it's startin to twitch."
"I'd like some raisin bread please", the man says politely. The female clerk nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, which is located on the very top shelf. The young man standing almost directly beneath her is provided with an excellent view, just as he surmised he would be.
Once she descends the ladder he muses that he really should get two loaves as he's having company for dinner. As the clerk retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices whats going on. Thinking quickly, he requests his own loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view. With each trip up the ladder the young lady seems to catch the eye of another male customer. Pretty soon each male patron is asking for raisin bread, just to see the clerk climb up and down.
After many trips she's tired, irritated and thinking that she is really going to have to try this bread for herself!
Finally, once again atop the ladder, she stops and fumes, glaring at the men standing below. She notices an elderly man standing amongst the crowd staring up at her. Thinking to save herself a trip, she yells at the elderly man, "Is yours raisin too?"
"No," croaks the old man "... But it's startin to twitch."
Slinger 48
Well-known member
Mr. Smith's wife has been in a coma for four months. The nurses have come to realise that she moves every time they wash her crotch area. The doctors think hard about this. They bring in Mr. Smith and say that they have a good idea. Perhaps if he practices oral sex with her she will wake out of the coma. Mr. Smith would do anything so he asks for some privacy. He soon rushes out saying, ''I think she's choking!"
LeafOfFaith
Well-known member
