OT: The M-Fing Food Thread

[Habsy]

You're killing everyone, Jeff.

You're the only one who totally has things go over his head, but then devises blueprints on multi-layered nonsensical quips that make one want to weep instead of laugh when they finally crack your comedy code.

Says the fucking guy that can’t find a buzz in his AC, like Harvey’s and has the worst fucking takes on, well, pretty much everything.
As such I thank you for the compliment

 

[Habsy]

I was fucking stoned, what’s your excuse?

You got so fucked with as a kid didn’t you? Bowl jobs, urinal kisses, wedgies…

writing all over the wall

 

[MindzEye]

Did someone switch Habsy's strain with pcp?

 

[LeafOfFaith]

Glue. This guy is old school.

 

[hockeylover]

Holy crap.

 

[mbow30]

Habsy vs lof = hogan vs warrior

 

[Habsy]

Did someone switch Habsy's strain with pcp?

Did a little too much at the gym maybe.

Not a fan of the winged scratch

 

[Habsy]

Glue. This guy is old school.

He’s got jokes finally

Tell me, were your parents able to save your foreskin?

by the way, this will degrade quickly

 

[LeafOfFaith]

Are we in some sort of contentious exchange or something, Jeff?

 

[Habsy]

Are we in some sort of contentious exchange or something, Jeff?

 

[LeafOfFaith]

I'll leave you two alone then.

 

[Habsy]

I got high then remembered I actually don’t give a fuck.

Just gonna mock the shit out of you for fun

 

[LeafOfFaith]

Just as long as you're aware you're not the only one having fun, Jeffrey.

 

[Habsy]

Just as long as you're aware you're not the only one having fun, Jeffrey.

Dude, how’s the wife? GF?

 

[LeafOfFaith]

You know, just going down a list of things you think will be hurtful actually makes it more funny.

Uh, how's the cancer, pops? The open heart surgery? Hm, hm??

You should probably chill for a minute, apologize for your Whitney joke, and watch some of those comedy 101 videos Presty was mentioning.

 

[Habsy]

Actually cancers great. Got that beat (for real).

I’d tell you to sit on your drill and spin but there’s no fucking way your a handy man… we’ll except on those special Saturday nights.

 

[LeafOfFaith]

Actually cancers great. Got that beat (for real).

I’d tell you to sit on your drill and spin but there’s no ducking way your a handy man… we’ll except on those special Saturday nights.

Nope, no ducking way my a handy man, that's for sure. Please don't except those nights.

 

[Habsy]

Oh autocorrect jokes. You learn that when looking for MS Paint? Maybe you should call Wehave, he's a whiz at IE, maybe he can help you.


Oh, I also am pretty sure I know why your car got keyed. For reals.

 

[Volcanologist]

high Habsy is best Habsy. much improved.

 

[LeafOfFaith]

Haha, have you gone through the list of everything you can possibly remember that I've said here yet?

That's the best kind of assault, one where you're just trying to think of anything to get a rise, but just can't. Much like your date nights.