TML? More like FML, amirite? Yet Another Off Season Thread

[Artnes]

 

[MindzEye]

Is he the PK guy, the PP guy or the too many fucking men on the ice guy?

 

[MindzEye]

If I were a Calgary fan, I probably wouldn't even care where the hell he went, just that he went at all. He crippled the franchise and forced them into a rebuild just as they became semi-contenders. His leaving caused their recent stud pick to want to leave too. Just horrific turn of events.

He didn't cripple shit. They could have traded him last summer when no extension was agreed to.

 

[MindzEye]

As much as I'd like to join in on the Tkachuk sucks and isn't better than Nylander parade... I think he's good. And he'd be fun to acquire. Not that they will, mind you.

Matthews >> Marner > Tkachuk > Nylander

 

[LeafOfFaith]

He didn't cripple shit. They could have traded him last summer when no extension was agreed to.

You've been going on for days about how Calgary is shit!

Whether they should have traded him or not, he crippled that shit by exiting stage left.

 

[MindzEye]

Is it rape if you take the roofie by choice?

 

[LeafOfFaith]

If she's hot enough, I'll never claim rape. I'd de facto consent each time, no matter what state of mind I'm in.

Once in a while these stories of like 25-30 year old teachers having sex with 15 year old students or whatever get reported, and not gonna lie, some of them are hot and I get jealous of the "victims" and wonder why I couldn't have been so lucky.

 

[Habsy]

If she's hot enough, I'll never claim rape. I'd de facto consent each time, no matter what state of mind I'm in.

Once in a while these stories of like 25-30 year old teachers having sex with 15 year old students or whatever get reported, and not gonna lie, some of them are hot and I get jealous of the "victims" and wonder why I couldn't have been so lucky.

 

[LeafOfFaith]

https://theleafsnation.com/2022/07/...Ptr24Yk7XIdwvkBbF8PaaK5LZOG_ttPtmW0rrrNfR4M0M

Written by @Preston. It does feel oddly like he's too perfect a fit to pass on here, especially with Kerf being prime trade bait and Jarnkrok already in the fold to play bottom six C...

 

[mbow30]

Wait did LoF just call 15 year olds hot?

 

[LeafOfFaith]

No, put that eggplant back in its holster.

 

[soco22]

Here's the issue, Calgary didn't offer him the big deal until the last minute. Dubas will be giving Matthews that crazy contract the first day he's eligible to sign next July.
I understand why Calgary didn't do it. He wasn't established like a Matthews. But I do feel he would have signed had they given him that crazy offer last summer, Leafs aren't waiting.

The million dollar question - what if he doesn’t sign it on day 1 (or week 1)? Do you trade him?

 

[Leafin']

If Matthews for whatever reason decides he’s not signing we are fucked.

Only saving grace at that point would be the hope that McDavid signs here.

If neither happens welcome back to the dark ages.

 

[Leafin']

I think we resign Matthews. Then sign McDavid. AND resign Tavares for a cheapo vet deal to be a 3C.

 

[leafman101]

New Bobo >

 

[zeke]

A need for speed drives Leafs captain John Tavares in summer workouts

A quicker Tavares would be an important component to a Leafs lineup that lost speedy forwards Ilya Mikheyev and Ondrej Kaše in free agency.

www.thestar.com

 

[LeafOfFaith]

Fucking love that guy.

 

[BG]

Quick and dirty, but necessary I feel - for this thread.

 

[LeafGm]

A need for speed drives Leafs captain John Tavares in summer workouts

A quicker Tavares would be an important component to a Leafs lineup that lost speedy forwards Ilya Mikheyev and Ondrej Kaše in free agency.

www.thestar.com

Is captain slowpoke going to get some sweet new robot legs installed?

 

[Habsy]

Is captain slowpoke going to get some sweet new robot legs installed?

Yes. Currently being tested for durability by Corey fucking Perry.

I'm sorry, I just can't say his name without the middle part.